"Scrutiny"

In addition to using this blog as a sort of journal and place to express my ideas, I would like to use it as a sort of catalog of thoughts and descriptions of my artwork. This is pretty cool because my art is such a relevant record of what I'm going through day to day. The visual, creative works and writing, together make a much more complete representation of my life than either one alone. I sure have a lot of back log but I do want to go back and explain each piece on the days in between when I've completed a new on. I'll put an approximate completion date for each one, so that the chronology of the work doesn't get too confusing.

"Scrutiny" oil on wood- 13" x 15" Welded steel frame. I did this painting in the winter of 2009. It taught me a powerful lesson that was extremely relevant to me, personally. In this period, I was being a terrible perfectionist and was not satisfied with very much of what I would come up with. I kept fighting with myself. I would think to myself conflicting ideas. on the one hand, I would have a sincere desire to be free and express my unique self. But then I would criticize anything that would come out while painting. I was on a binge of using yellow ochre at the time and was experimenting with some black lines. This face started to emerge and as usual, I was extremely critical of it. I felt like it wasn't right, wasn't good enough, etc. Suddenly, I realized just how cruel I was being. I began to see the face as some being that I was judging so harshly. I started to realize that this being, this face was myself, since it was my painting, my creation. I was being so critical of myself, my art! I decided to explore what it was that this painting wanted to be, not what I wanted to force it to be. I began to really feel compassion for this victim of my perfectionism. I too am tortured by my own self judgement and inability to accept myself for who I actually am. Once I started to see the painting in this new way, I began to admire it for it's self, for the way that it tended to be. It's way better when I can work with myself in that same way. I want so much. I want to be great and do great things, but when it gets out of hand this can keep me from seeing what things are unique and good about me. I am reminded about this wonderful lesson, every time I look at this painting.

"Under the Bed"

"Under the Bed" oil on wood. 12" x 27"

I finished this painting last night on Oct 11th. It is painted on a cabinet door. I usually don't like the cabinet doors that I come across because they tend to be made out of particle board, plywood or some other cheap and unreliable synthetic, composite material. But I recently found a stack of them made from real wood. So I sanded them and on this one I started out by putting a base coat of black. The black was a framework of random lines rather than solid. I worked the painting on several occasions until I realized the face of the main figure, a young girl or child sleeping. The creature on the bottom illustrates the story of monsters under the bed. There is also a man, maybe a father standing next to the bed. In

this piece, I really enjoyed working with the color and contrast. I kept a limited palate so that I could focus on these even more.

Also, today was my birthday. I met with a client and sold the piece "Dinner Party". Always a good day when I sell some art.

Went to coffee after sunset and enjoyed the ambiance of the most smoker friendly Starbucks in Tucson (at Crossroads Festival).

My New Studio At Crow House

It's been a rough past few months, living and working at the Cherry House. The place had a lot of potential, but as it turned out, the person at the helm couldn't keep it together. As the old saying goes "the captain must go down with his ship". The place wasn't very conducive to creativity, with no electricity, cooking facilities or proper bathroom. In spite of my better judgement, I stuck it out there, far longer than what was good for me, in hopes of seeing what a glorious space the place could become. So, Luckily I am on to better things and have finally settled into my new space here at Crow House! It is a perfect little studio, on the outskirts of central Tucson. The first project when I got here was to install a 7 foot long bay window and an extensive wooden shelving system on the North wall. The window is up high and of course gives the perfect North light. I put my plants in front of the window and they add the small touch that makes a huge difference for me, allowing the creative process to thrive. I am getting the opportunity to express my long time urge to design and create environments. Bryan and I have all kinds of plans for outdoor chilling areas on the property, that include brick, flagstone and succulents. I've completed the south property wall. The patio project is moving along slowly, but surely. I just used up the last of the flagstone that we scavenged from the neighbor's back yard, after he moved. Now I won't be doing any more masonry, until I get more lime for the mortar. I've been staying up late, painting every night and have been able to do more art here in the past few weeks than I could do in the entire 4 or 5 months at Cherry house.

 Having a good live-work space that is artist friendly makes all the difference in the world. I am presently finishing up a very cool oil painting of Pia next to a freight train in Portland, OR.